Warning Signs Your Employer May Be Going Broke
Don't be the last person out of the building because a bill collector may be waiting
I was on vacation last week in Palm Beach, Florida, an island community where the disparity in wealth was on full display. Except the disparity in Palm Beach is about who has wealth, and who has outragous wealth. I haven’t felt that out of place since went into a pub in London and asked for a half-pint. (The bartender called me a sissy and laughed in my face.)
We stayed in West Palm Beach, which is on the mainland, and slightly less wealthy, but was still more luxury than I’m accustomed to. I’ll be paying off the trip for the next few months, hoping Chase doesn’t send someone to break a knee-cap because I’m late with the vig.
During the trip, SVB (I’m guessing it stands for “silicon valley bank”) failed. There were laughable accusations that it’s because the remote workers weren’t paying attention to the operations. Hopefully, those workers weren’t paying attention becouse they were interviewing for other jobs. Alas, I fear the rank and file will both suffer and be intermittently blamed.
It seems far more likely that leadership invested deposits heavily in a speculative fund and lost an ass-load of money. How much is an “ass-load?” It’s like a metric ton, but we know how much America resists the metric system.
Then some of the more notorious “libertarian” depositors caught wind of the losses and pulled their deposits, triggering a run.
Classic rich-guy taking care of numbero uno.
I’ve been at a couple of companies that went belly-up, taking my retirement down with them, so I thought I’d share some of the warning signs I’ve learned over the years.
Warning Signs Your Employer May Be Going Broke
CEO sends out all-employee email touting innovative approach to raising capital by selling stock in the company on Facebook Marketplace
Strategy session for C-level executives catered by Papa Johns
Senior Vice President of Marketing caught stealing Keurig coffee pods from the break room to “replenish their yacht”
Human Resources charging employees $10, cash-only, to answer questions about the missing payroll deposits
Finance department, seen carrying sacks full of cash, departs for “team-building weekend” to Golden Nugget casino
Chief Risk Officer dies in tragic base-jumping accident after leaping from the top of building without a parachute
Data Science team spends first quarter fine-tuning their predictive models on March Madness brackets
Chief Information Officer launches ransomware attack against the company demanding the return of his company-paid Buggati Chiron
Comptroller commits ceremonial disembowlment in the lobby during “Employee Appreciation Bagel Day”
Administrative Services announces new “Bring Your Own Toilet Paper” policy, effective immediately
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